The Value of Values

What do you stand for?

I've been thinking a lot about values lately. It's hard not to, really. Every day, you're witnessing a very public battle playing out on the world stage between what some call traditional family values and the actions of world leaders. It's uncomfortable to watch. And it raises a question: What do you stand for?

Most people move through life without taking the time to identify what they truly value. You make decisions based on what feels right in the moment, or what's expected of you, or what you've always done. When you don't know your values, you're navigating without a compass. And that can lead you somewhere you never intended to go.

Understanding Values

Values are the end states, principles, or underlying ideals that are important enough for you to aspire to.They're deeply personal and belong to you as an individual. Values don't belong to any group. They belong to every human.

Different from virtues, which describe the attitudes you assume or the actions you take, intentionally or not, that people would recognize about you. Virtues are visible whereas values are not.

If you practice a religion, your religious practices are part of your belonging to a body of people. But your individual values may or may not be the same as what you heared declared in religion or what you practice in religion. Religion is communal. Values are individual.

Values are important relative to each other, and which ones rise to a level of importance in your life is largely determined by what you've experienced. You may have enduring values, which do not generally change over time; transactional values, which are important in a particular situation or transaction; terminal values, which describe the end state you desire; and instrumental values, which you use strategically as a means to an end. Generally speaking, your core values are the 3-5 you consciously consult when you make decisions.

The Power of Naming Your Values

Identifying your values isn't just an intellectual exercise. It's a clarifying process that allows you to articulate not only what matters to you, but also why it matters. When you can name your values, you give yourself the opportunity to see how those values have shown up in your past decisions (for better or worse) and how you can use them consciously to guide your future.

I've seen this transformation happen with my clients time and again. When someone takes the time to identify their core values, it's like a light switches on. Suddenly, past choices make more sense. Current conflicts become clearer. And the path forward becomes less murky.

It crystallizes what motivates you, what is truly important to you, and what you stand for.

My Values Journey

I can tell you from personal experience that this work is profound. My core values (equality, social justice, and meaning in life) aren't just words I use to describe myself. They're the foundation of many decisions I make, both in my coaching practice and in my personal life.

These values drew me to nonprofit work for twenty years. They guide how I show up for my clients. They shape my advocacy for women, people of color, and sexual minorities in leadership roles. And when I face difficult choices, I return to these values as my North Star.

But I didn't always have this clarity. It took intentional work to identify and articulate what I stand for. And that work continues because living your values isn't a one-time event. It's an ongoing practice.

A Values Exercise to Help You Begin

So how do you begin? The good news is that identifying your values doesn't require a coach (though it certainly helps to have someone guide you through the process). You can start on your own.

Here's what I recommend:

1. Make time for reflection.

This isn't work you can rush through in ten minutes. Set aside an hour when you won't be interrupted.

2. Ask yourself powerful questions:

- What makes you angry or passionate?

- When have you felt most proud of yourself?

- What would you stand up for, even if it cost you something?

- What do you want to be known for?

3. Use resources designed for this work.

I often recommend discoveryourvalues.com, which is based on the Scwartz Values Framework as a starting point. This resource provides structure and language that can help you articulate what you might only feel intuitively. A few notes about this resource: you can use the free version or the paid version. They are the same test, but with the paid version, you get the option to download and save your results and you get a set of three worksheets to use on your own to deepen your learning, reflect on how your values have shown up in your life, and what experiences contributed to their ranking. Reflect on how your values have shown up in your life and what experiences contributed to their ranking. 

Also, the scoring guidance provided on this site is not specific enough, in my experience. When you are asked to score your values, assign the highest score (7) to only two values. The reason to limit it to two is that these values represent the most important things to you. Having lots of values that you see as the most important blunts the impact of any of those values. If everything is important, then there's really nothing that stands out as most important. The scoring range is from 7 (the most important) to 1 (the least important to you) and you can optionally assign a score of -1 to any that you think are at odds with you or your core values.

4. Reflect on how your values have shown up.

Once you've identified your values, reflect on your history. How have these values appeared in your life? What experiences shaped their importance to you? This reflection helps you understand not just what you value, but why you value it.

Living in Alignment

Identifying your values is only the first step. The real work (and the real reward) comes from using those values to guide your decisions moving forward.

When you know your values, decision-making becomes simpler (though not necessarily easier). You have a framework for evaluating opportunities, relationships, and commitments. You can ask yourself: Does this align with who I am and what I stand for?

And when you encounter situations that conflict with your values (like watching leaders act in ways that contradict their stated principles), you're better equipped to respond. You can articulate why something feels wrong. You can take action that's consistent with your values. You can choose not to participate in systems that violate your values.

The Courage to Stand for Something

In a world where you're constantly asked to compromise, to go along to get along, to accept the unacceptable, knowing your values takes on even greater importance. It takes courage to say, "This is what I stand for, and I won't budge on it."

But that courage is what separates people who drift through life from people who actively shape it.

So I'll ask you again: What do you stand for?

If you can answer that question clearly and confidently, you're ahead of most people. And if you can't (or if your answer feels murky or uncertain) then this is your invitation to do the work.

Because your values aren't just abstract concepts. They're the blueprint for the life you want to build and the person you want to become.

Taking the Next Step

Values work can be done on your own, but there's tremendous power in doing it with support. A coach can help you dig deeper, challenge your assumptions, and hold up a mirror so you can see yourself more clearly. (That's what I do, after all.)

Whether you tackle this work solo or with guidance, the important thing is that you do tackle it. Because in uncertain times, when the ground beneath you feels unsteady, knowing what you stand for becomes your anchor.

And that clarity? It's absolutely invaluable.

Brad Ward, PCC, TICC, TIRC is a coach at Brad Ward Coaching LLC in Palm Springs, CA. Contact Brad to learn how coaching can help you reach for the impossible!