Acceptance, Forgiveness, and Surrender: The Formula for Moving On.

Your path to personal freedom

Break free from what binds you!

What if you could make peace with your past so that you no longer felt its weight as a heavy burden? How might you succeed if you could own your story – instead of it owning you?

Most everyone has something in their lives they hold onto like a precious gift that actually damages their ability to move forward and succeed at the things they want to accomplish. For you, it might be the classes you failed in high school or college, repeating past mistakes, or taking on far more responsibility than you can manage. No matter what it may be, you can continue letting those things shape your future, or you can begin the process of systematically retiring them to your past.

The formula for moving on lies in three simple yet profound concepts: acceptance, forgiveness, and surrender.

Acceptance: The Starting Point

Acceptance is about recognizing where you are starting. It’s not an endorsement of your past or approval of what happened before. Rather, acceptance is an honest acknowledgement of your current reality, warts and all.

This first step can be challenging – we often resist facing uncomfortable truths. But by practicing acceptance without judgment, guilt, or shame, you can create space for change. Regardless of how you got here, this is where you are. And that’s okay.

Forgiveness: Letting Go

The next step is identifying the things you need and want to forgive yourself for – the actions, words, and beliefs that no longer serve you. Forgiveness is the conscious choice to put down the weight of those items and release the negativity you associate with them.

It’s important to note here that forgiveness is not absolution. You don’t have the power to erase what happened, but you do have the power to change your relationship with it. By forgiving yourself and others, you free up precious energy that can now be channeled into creating the life you want.

Surrender: Going with the Flow

Finally, surrender is about learning to go with the flow of life rather than fighting against it. This isn’t the same as giving up. Instead, it’s about recognizing and stopping the fight against what you cannot change.

Often, we expend so much effort trying to control people and situations that are ultimately beyond our control. When you practice surrender, you conserve that energy and redirect it in more productive ways. You start working with life rather than against it.

Putting It All Together is the Formula for Moving On

Words are easy – actions are new. Notice that I didn’t say they are hard, simply that they are new. How you frame this process manifests in the way you practice it.

Here’s a simple way to get started:

1.     Identify the things in your life you need to accept.

2.     Accept them as the reality that is yours without judgment, guilt, or shame. Regardless of how you got here, this is where you are.

3.     Identify the things you need and/or want to forgive yourself for.

4.     Put down these heavy items with conscious effort and release the negativity you associate with them.

5.     Recognize you cannot change your past. Learn from it so you can move with the flow of life.

Give yourself ample space and grace throughout this process. You’re taking on a big change and will inevitably make some mistakes. The key is to learn from them rather than putting yourself into a guilt-prison.

Patience is essential here. The act of accepting, forgiving, and surrendering takes time and will open up opportunities to apply your learning and growth. See them as ways to prove to yourself than you CAN do what you want to do.

Break the Cycle

We humans live in a cycle: your beliefs about yourself inform your thoughts, which influence how you feel and talk about yourself, which drives the actions you take, which then reinforce your original beliefs.

Acceptance, forgiveness, and surrender allow you to break this cycle and create new, empowering beliefs. While this work won’t magically heal your past wounds (that’s what therapy is for), it can absolutely help you move beyond self-sabotage and limiting beliefs that prevent you from moving forward.

When you’re ready to begin, know that support is available. You have the power within you to move on and live the life you want to live. The path to personal freedom starts with a single step – and that first step is yours to take.

Brad Ward Coaching is ready to support you through this process when you’re ready to begin. We want to help you move on and live the life you’re ready to live.

Bradley K. Ward, PCC, TICC, TIRC is a coach and consultant at Brad Ward Coaching LLC in Palm Springs, CA. Contact Brad to learn how coaching can help you reach for the impossible!